A Depressing Dream

Well hello there nobody,

 Today I have a bit if a depressing dream. I am surprised that I'd even been thinking about it.

Dream: So there is me playing basketball and BL asks me to come over a sec. I do. He wants to talk to me about what I had told him yesterday (that i LIKE like him) and I go along with it. Then he reminds me that he has a crush on L. Then I totally flip out because I know that, he does and so does L but they tell me like its breaking news. That its all new to me. Well it isn't and I for one am sick of having to be told that over and over again. Then I storm off and he comes chasing after me. He puts his hand on my shoulder and I turn around pushing it off. Nothing is said. But then, dead awkwardly, we kiss.

Dream analysis: WTF?! My crush is getting so much WORSE!!! Not only has J been sick for the past couple of days, I have been suffering from Crushitis for about a month. Nothing can get worse than that.

So you see I am having a major LIKE like lake o' misery! You should see me around him, I get so...so... weird. I act all fluffy and soft like trying not to make a fool of myself. I end up making more of a fool of myself than the fool I am trying not to be. BL if you're out there, just know that There are not just three girls. You just dissmiss one like the jerk you are!

It's just he cares so much about how he makes an impression on A, L and L he forgets that I am there. Well hello, I am standing right in the middle of 'em and you still don't notice me?! Alarming. I bet you it's because I am the ugly one, the one who has never had a boyfriend and the one nobody has crush on. It is really off putting when all the other girls are talking about the boys calling them fit and askin them out. What do I have to say? H was crushing on my toe the other day with his stupid new shoes. Even that is only on ocassion. Reading this back now is making me cry. I am just pointing out all of my flaws. Like a negative nancy. Moving on.

Did you know that all the girls who you would think to be the perky nicest hirls in your class can check into the reality hotel and book themselves the REAL BITCH suite. I never knew that the Stage 2 and 3 girls could bitch with each other like that. With S going " Come on, you know you're the one who started it" and E just laughing the SARCASTIC/ I DON'T CARE IMMA GET MY BITCH ON laugh, firing back "I really thought you were too old for unrealistic dreams." Sssssssa what a snapper that was. It was a great sight to see.

I have always known BL in my mind: my knight in shining armor, waiting for me to get dressed and carry me away on his white horse. And the BL in reality: EXTREMELY cute, good at sport, plays squash (which I love) and can accept a girl's flaws. Did I mention jerk?

I think this entry does have a moral to it, right?

Point of Ponder: If crushitis gets worse for you, you can't control it. Thi means it's your first true love. The one whom you would like to share your life with. The worst part is if they like someone else. Do you know what? Bollocks to them, they got their shit and you've got yours. Ain't nobody got time for that!

Your friend,


                  _that_girl_ xxx